2000 Miles Away – Venting

Was it that easy?
You came in with a promise
to be hers, always.

How can you be hers
From 2000 miles away?

Insisting, you do,
That she’ll be fine without you.
You’re there through a call.

But you can’t hold her
over the phone while tears fall,

When she feels alone,
Asking when dad’s coming home,
Unsure of our truth.

Just 7 years old,
Learning what heartbreak can do.

2000 miles cast,
thrown between you and your past-
Desperate for… what?

A new life to live,
With a new girlfriend to strut?

Friends funding your plan,
“Well, congratulations, man!”
No thought to her loss.

You get what you want,
But at what kind of a cost?

 

__________________________________________________

My daughter’s father recently decided he wanted to live out his never-before mentioned dream of moving to Chicago to live with his new girlfriend. He gave me 3 week’s notice, and didn’t tell our daughter until a week before. He asked friends for money, and was given enough to pay for his trip and to put a security deposit down on his apartment. It’s been nearly 2 months, and our daughter is still confused about what has happened- often asking me when daddy’s coming back.

I am in an emotionally turbulent place, randomly switching back and forth between being okay, being extremely angry, and being extremely sad that such a change took place so suddenly. We were both teenagers when our daughter was born, so a small part of me doesn’t blame him for wanting to go off and do his own thing- but now I feel as though I’m raising her alone, and I have no idea how to get her through missing her father.

This poem is not a great poem… But It’s the only thing I could find to do to release some of the intense emotional pressure I am fighting through.

 

 

 

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