Years of Forgiveness, or Years of Permission?

What I thought I’d given
For love to flourish, to grow,
to become something stronger than anyone could know,
Was years of forgiveness,
Years of understanding,
Patience and kindness with little demanding.
I thought all the chances
Were signs from my heart,
Symbols of how deep I loved
With every broken shard.

No, that was never right, though… was it?

Here, alone, and in my pain,
I see what you really sought to gain-
Permission to hurt, to escalate.
To strike me down in various ways.
Every chance I surrendered and hug I gave,
Your aggression, temper, and impatience raised.
You never saw what I thought I gave-
Only ever what I could take.
With resentment and anger, heartache and tears
What I thought was love you replaced with fear.

Forgive me, my heart, for my careless concern.
I trusted a man who knows only to burn.

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